Reject the Arrival Fallacy: Rewire Your Mindset for Lasting Success

This started as a passionate, knee-jerk reaction email back to a friend sending me Sahil Bloom’s piece on the "arrival fallacy"—the idea that success never feels as good as we expect it to. And honestly, I’m just calling bullshit at this point.

Sahil and many others (this idea has become incredibly popular lately- I’ve fallen pray at times, too) suggest we should entirely shift focus away from goals, claiming the journey itself should be enough. I respect where they're coming from, but this is fundamentally unrealistic—especially for high performers.

The popular belief goes like this: when you finally achieve your biggest goal, the glow fades almost immediately. As Sahil points out, Scottie Scheffler went viral last week on this topic after he gave a five minute heartfelt and honest response to a reporter. It was raw and I honestly felt terrible for him that he’s stuck in that place, seemingly with no one around him to help him re-frame this thought spiral he’s in!

The idea of the “arrival fallacy” goes that when you arrive at your goal, the thing that was support to make you happen, that you’re left empty, chasing the next high because, apparently, success is never enough.

Sounds familiar, right? I used to buy into this fully before I stepped back on it. As a gold medalist (like Scottie), as a founder and exited CEO—I knew the fleeting satisfaction concept well.

But lately, something’s shifted. I’ve taught myself to live in the glow of my accomplishments in a way I never allowed myself to previously. My recent induction into the U.S. Olympic Hall of Fame? Still glowing—as I gave myself permission to do on LinkedIn last week. Leaving Classroom Champions in capable hands? Still feels incredible. 

Why?

Because I've stopped using the toxic fuel of never being enough. High performers, myself included, have traditionally thrived on feeling inadequate, hungry to prove something to the world—and themselves. Look at Michael Jordan. Look at Tom Brady.

These guys are eternally wired to compete, to prove someone wrong, to carry that perpetual chip on their shoulder, despite having already conquered their respective worlds ten times over. Even highly successful actors like Dax Shepard and Jim Carrey openly discuss climbing the mountain only to find the peak surprisingly unsatisfying.

And guess what? That wiring sucks. It’s toxic AF. It’s straightforward and effective early on—simple, A-to-B wiring. Wake up feeling inadequate, grind until you win, feel briefly validated, then crash when you realize the feeling fades. Repeat. I lived this cycle until it nearly killed me.

Here's the thing: the arrival fallacy isn't a universal truth—it's just a narrative we've mistakenly accepted as fact. 

I don't need extensive research to disprove it; like seeing a single footprint on the moon tells me man can go there, my own experience alone is proof enough. You can absolutely rewire yourself to experience genuine satisfaction, lasting pride, and sustained motivation.

The key difference? We must intentionally decide to feel proud of our accomplishments. Actively connect your effort to the reward. Consciously sit with success rather than instinctively dismissing it because you’ve trained yourself to never feel good enough. By doing so, you’ll connect your motivation and drive with success in a very different, healthier, and productive way.

Here’s another truth high-performers inherently understand: goals matter. We compete to win. We thrive on achieving clear outcomes. To ignore goals completely and pretend only the journey matters is unrealistic drivel. The goal, and the potential of not achieving it, is the reason you feel nervous before competing; it's why you're driven to push past discomfort.

Yet, focusing solely on the goal without appreciating the journey isn't sustainable either. 

Instead, reframe every part of the journey in service of your goal. You don’t have to love every task, but you can find purpose and even joy knowing that what you're doing is directly connected to something deeply meaningful to you (the goal). 

It's a nuanced balance, not an either-or scenario.

Today, I can look back at moments when I was literally the best in the world at my sport and proudly acknowledge, "I was really good—no, scratch that—I was exceptional," and simultaneously know there were areas I could improve. 

My drive today isn't fuelled by inadequacy; it's driven by curiosity, a desire to evolve, and excitement to discover what else is possible.

And like everything else in this world, the “If I can do it, you can do it,” concept rings loud and clear.

So, here's the moral of my passionate, slightly chaotic rant:

• Screw the unrealistic idea that high-performers shouldn't care deeply about winning or achieving goals.

• Reject people who’ve never tasted real success yet preach about the inevitability of not feeling satisfied when you get there.

• Have compassion for those who’ve reached the top but bought into the toxic narrative that success must always feel empty.

• And most importantly, know this: if the old wiring isn't working for you, there’s another way. I had to nearly destroy myself to find it, but you don’t have to.

Success doesn't have to leave you empty. You can rewrite your story, fuel your ambition from a place of genuine satisfaction, and finally, genuinely enjoy the arrival.

It feels pretty damn great.

Screw the arrival fallacy.

- Steve

steve.mesler

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